It was reported that Princess Margaret had her butler iron her newspapers before she read them. This was cited as yet another example of her extravagant lifestyle. I could not agree less. How can anyone be expected to fully relax into reading their newspaper if someone else has got it before them? Frankly if I could con someone into ironing my newspaper for me before I read it I would. I would have to con them because unless you have staff who are paid to undertake such tasks it strikes me as the sort of deal that would turn out to be expensive on a time by time basis.
For those of us without staff, and that most certainly includes me and everyone I know, the only other option is to get the paper before anyone else has a chance to crumple, disarrange and generally besmirch it. Newspapers, like hearts, never fit together properly after being used no matter how much smoothing, soothing, petting or patting is employed.
I am sorry to say that over the years we have gone from getting daily and weekend papers to only purchasing them on a rare and infrequent basis. We cut back in the first instance to save money, then to save wastage and now that I think about we are to blame for the perilous state of the newspaper business. All this from someone who at one time quite fancied the thought of writing for one.
Today’s newspaper has had its revenge upon me. Bought when my husband and two of our children returned from a trip to the dump, taking with them yet deceased appliances and broken up epics of old furniture as we work on clearing not only my office but the garage. The garage clear out has an imminent must be done by date. It houses the meters for the gas and electricity and these are going to be updated in just over a week. This is great news, no longer can the door be kept firmly closed and a pretence maintained that all is well within its walls. All, or almost all must be cleared from within its walls and soon. The car is working at capacity driving back and forth to the tip to deposit the crap.
Yesterday my husband took advantage of our youngest daughter being at respite to take most of the contents of the study to the tip. Rather than list all the televisions, video recorders, DVD players, hard drive recorders and various combinations of said it would be easier to say we were one Betamax away from having a complete history of the last thirty years of television recording and playback history. Now it is all gone, apart from one flat screen monitor over which Hub took his final stand. His argument being it is shameful to throw out something that works. My view is much more simple, should I return to using a desktop and I may well, it won’t be via a 15″ LCD screen, you can count on that.
The final insult to Hub’s deep personal aversion of disposing of electronics was the sudden and untimely passing of the barely three-year old flat screen TV which he loved and was significantly more sizeable than 15″. On Friday night the set relayed its final show, we did not know this at the time or I am sure we would have endeavoured to have enjoyed it more. On Saturday morning Hub followed his usual weekend morning routine, put on the kettle, switch on Radio 4, come into the living room and put on the television. Yes, apparently both radio and TV are needed and he can listen to both at the same time which is terribly odd since he doesn’t seem to hear half of what I say to him.
The radio, a bit of a fossil itself now, came on and talked away as only Radio 4 can. The television sat in the corner like a sullen lump of plastic and whatever it is out of which they make those screens and said nothing. Not a thing. Leads were checked, the button was pressed and pressed and pressed, the set taken out of the cabinet, put on the floor and a screw driver applied, still nothing. Now we have a lot less stuff in the study and the garage and a brand new, even bigger television in the living room and a faintly huffy man over my refusal to tell him the wi-fi password because I don’t have enough bandwidth as it is without giving it to a television. I can take the blame for dumbing down a smart TV, un-smart TV have been dumbing down people for long enough now, time to get some revenge.
As to the newspaper, it was taken by our eldest son to his grandparents where he read it while I sorted Sunday lunch and when we all came home again it was left there. I don’t have to worry that the paper is already read and is now crumpled since I won’t be reading it after all.
© 2012, Penbleth / L. McG.-E.. All rights reserved.