Once again respite night has rolled around. Tonight we head out for a meal in what is supposed to be a rather good Indian restaurant. I have been looking forward to it for weeks. It is in celebration of two birthdays, as June, like December, is a pretty big birthday month in our family.
Hub had his birthday on the 4th.
Initially tonight’s outing was to be for him. Our next scheduled respite is on the 22nd of this month which happens to be our eldest’s 22nd birthday. However that date has now been taken to go for another meal to celebrate Hub’s dad’s 80th birthday. So tonight is for Hub and 21/22.
It is so strange having grown children. Children who aren’t children but adults. Adults whom you can admire, to whom you can relate and at whom sometimes you shake your head and wonder. Of course they do exactly the same to us.
21 popped home on Wednesday and stayed the night. I looked up the stairs, no seeing any of the kids but knowing they were all home. The house full again.
Only for a moment, briefly. To be savoured and enjoyed and oh so soon gone.
He and I popped out for a little drink.
It was like going on a route march with Prince Augustus. When you are 5’4″ and your companion is 6’2″ you don’t half get marched down the hill at quite a clip. The good news is the same clip on the march back up the hill is aided when Jameson has been applied, internally.
I’d like to point out here, this blog is educational, thanks to British history, the second son of King George III and the nursery rhyme, The Grand Old Duke of York. Don’t say I don’t teach you anything.
When I sit in the house and think of the older kids, adults, doing there own thing, still willing to come out on occasion with us, even if it is because they are students and hey, it’s a free meal, it is so easy to start thinking, “if only”. I try to stop that pretty sharpish. It’s pointless and draining.
Our lives are as they are and I KNOW people hate that sort of phrase. What would be served, I’m reminding myself as much as asking, from thinking of what could have been or might have been or alternatives. These precious nights when we are all adults together enjoying ourselves, the food, the company, the conversation, are precious and to be cherished.
Most of our life is looking after someone who, no matter their age, will always need help and care and support. That’s pretty special too.
It’s not easy, I wouldn’t choose it. It’s what I have and I’m going to keep doing it.
And I am going to relish each break, big or small. It makes the doing easier.
© 2012, Penbleth / L. McG.-E.. All rights reserved.
Janet Isserlis - and this. beautiful. you teach me more than history. xo
Curt - I can relate to the adult children and the changes that go on in your relationship with them.
Dawn Tucker - I know exactly what you mean. One minute you’re sending them off for their first day of school, the next they arrive home again with all their worldly possessions (yesterday) having finished uni and ready to start work in August! Btw, 2 hours later her brother arrived with all his stuff from Halls having finished his first year. Put that together with hubby being only two thirds of the way through fitting a new kitchen (should have been finished weeks ago and we haven’t had a sink for the past two days – HELP!) and you’ve never seen such a mess everywhere!
Perhaps I’ll take a leaf out of your book and take us all out for a drink. Everything will feel a bit better with a drop of alcohol inside and this being Fathers Day I really would like hub to have a bit of a rest. We’ll get there in the end!
Penbleth - Oh yes, the arrival of all the laundry, every parent’s joy. I hope you had a good weekend and were able to do something relaxing. I also hope your kitchen is soon finished, I could do with a new one but can’t face the work.
Some senses, very little sense. - [...] It also happens to be 21′s birthday. He will be 22. You know, in case you can’t work out what age someone will be after being 21. Every now and again my mother-in-law announces that we are all going out for my son’s birthday. I remind her it is for her husband’s. I am being pedantic I suppose. We have done 21′s birthday dinner on the 8th along with his dad’s. [...]