Before you start worrying I don’t generally have a continence issue. One does know to be careful about such things, thankyouverymuch.
Today was venogram day, that special day when they looked at the veins in my brain because I’m too old to have my condition. I can’t decide if that just might be a good thing. Perhaps it’s a sign that in fact I haven’t aged and these last 14 years have not been counted against my allotted span. I doubt it though. According to Hub there was some other condition mentioned that I might have, it must be horrendous because clearly I have blanked it. Today’s CT to check my brain veins is supposed to be just to rule out the possibility of those being an issue.
The letter booking the appointment told me to refrain from food for three hours prior to the scan. Of course I took that as a signal I would have to choke down some ghastly elixir and promptly barf all over the clinic.
Apparently not.
They opted for an injection instead.
That seemed much more civilised till the blokie got me lying on the CT bed.
“Is there any chance you could be pregnant?”
“No thanks.”
He chuckled.
“Have they told you about the injection?”
“No.”
“Right. Well, it comes from the drip, through the venflon and you’ll feel it go up your arm and in to you.”
“OK.”
“It will make you warm and flushed. Your face will go red.”
I thought, well, that’s alright, it’s in the scan thing anyway.
“It will go right down to your toes.”
OK, also alright, I thought, I’m dressed, no turning bright red like a beacon for me.
“Um … down below … it will make you warm.”
What?
How warm? What sort of warm? I didn’t sign up for embarrassing experiences on the CT bed, that’s a whole different show.
“It will make you think you’ve wet yourself.”
“WHAT?”
“Just THINK. Nothing will happen?”
“Are you sure? Because now you’ve mentioned it I need to go.”
“You’ll be alright, it’s just a feeling.”
Easy for him to say.
So, there I lie, head strapped in place, chin tucked in, hair tucked in so it doesn’t get sucked in to the gubbins of the machine and now I have to add in mad Kegel skills to the whole lie still and think of England scenario.
When it ended he asked if I felt like I could wee. Oh yes.
I don’t think I’ve ever sat up so fast or checked myself not at all surreptitiously. He got a laugh out of it.
I got yet another weird day to add to the collection.
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